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Fostering Deep Connection

A common theme among coaching clients and colleagues, especially solo practitioners, is a lack of deep connection. A deep connection is one in which you can be completely vulnerable without judgment. It’s a safe space to share ideas, successes, and even anxieties. With increased virtual firms and remote work, we’ve all experienced greater distance and solitude over the last several years. The need for deep connections, however, is more important than ever and can truly elevate your life. Here are some simple suggestions for finding and cultivating deep relationships. 

  • Current relationships. Do you have any relationships that you really haven’t nurtured? Maybe an acquaintance you met at a coffee shop or through work or even a former colleague or classmate. Consider the people that you have in your life, even if they are on the periphery, and determine whether any of those relationships could elevate if you put in some effort. Schedule lunch or invite that person out. Assess whether it’s a relationship you want to develop further and take a chance. 
  • Networking. I recognize that networking can be an absolute drag, especially after a long day of work. But, if you’re a remote worker or solopreneur, it’s vitally important that you foster relationships with people in a similar space. It’s an opportunity to learn from and even vent about whatever you’re facing in your day to day. For lawyers, that means attending local bar events and receptions. For remote workers, that means getting into a cowork space or other professionals group that hosts regular meetings and professional development events. Some of my deepest connections have come from attending networking events despite my desire to skip them. 
  • Hobbies. Sharing hobbies with someone opens the door to a connection. That could be a book club, a gym, a run club, or anything else that brings you joy. To share joy with someone is to deepen the relationship. If you enjoy knitting, get out there and find a knitting group. There is a social club for almost all activities these days and it’s really fun to participate in something you love around other people that love that activity too! 

The biggest hurdle to finding and fostering deep connections is fear. We’re all afraid of rejection or attending an event by ourselves. The best way to overcome that fear is to just do it. Try a new workout class, approach someone at a networking event, and just take a chance that the person might be good and worthwhile of your time. Come from a place of optimism and confidence and you’ll create lasting connections that enhance your life. If you need a wing woman, don’t hesitate to reach out.